• Grace

My family has changed

When I'm mentioning my ‘family’, I’m only talking about the family from my mom’s side. I've never been close to my family from my dad's or step dad's sides. My mom’s family is composed by my two grandparents, my aunt (mom’s sister) and her husband and their two children, Marie and Nicolas. I have a half younger brother from my dad’s side but I never see him, he is living in another city with my step mother and since my dad died, I’m not really in touch with him.


When I was a young kid, I spent so much time with my two cousins, especially Nico as he is only 2 years older than me. During my childhood, we have always been living in the same town, going to the same school and spending all our weekends together. We pretty much had the same personality. I was the youngest grandchild of the family but it doesn’t mean I was the ‘favorite’ one. My grandparents used to love my cousins so much, probably much more they ever loved me. I was fine with that. I actually received so much love from my mom, soI was 100% satisfy with it. My mom was very close to her sister, which is the reason why we were all living in the same town and seeing each other every single weekend. Every summers we were going to the South of France all together and in February we were going to ski in the Alps. Happy times.


Then my mom met my step dad and we moved to another town, but I was still seeing Nico very enough as we were still living in the same region. I remember when I was around 9 years-old, my aunt, uncle and cousins started to be really into a religion. They started to create classes and lessons to teach this religion and I remember that I’ve been part of it. At the time, I really wanted to be into it. Today when I’m looking at them and how they are involved in it, I’m so happy that I stopped it. I’ve never being into any religion in my life and I’m not wishing to. Religion has never been a problem though when I was a kid and a teenager. Nothing had really changed at the time. We were still doing the same things, going on same holidays all together.


I think my family has really changed for the past 4 years. My aunt, my uncle and my cousin Marie were being more and more into that religion and they made it their priority, the family wasn’t that important for them anymore. So they stopped going on holidays with us, they stopped traditional stuffs that we were used to do in the past. It’s like we didn’t exist anymore for them. For example, they always knew that my parents and I are not religious at all. Which is fine, they respect as well as we respect the fact they are religious. But the more the years were passing by, the more they started to want us to be into it as well. They were writing us prayers etc… Which pissed us off. Of course we didn’t want to be into it, but it was disrespectful from them to try to ‘convince’ us to be like them. Since then, they distanced themselves from us, as if we were not good enough for them. We didn’t break off all ties but now it’s like we don’t know them anymore, they are on a different planet. The worst thing is that they are always pretending that everything is fine in the family but they are just really hypocrites.


This isn’t actually what is making me sad. What is making sad is my cousin Nico. As explained above, I’ve always been very close to my cousin. As kids, we were like twins. Same personalities, same interests etc… But today, it is completely different. I really don’t like the way he has changed. I always thought that he was different from his parents and sister and that he would never be like them. We still have this connection, this complicity. But his personality has changed so much. He is now very very VERY opportunistic, very selfish and only cares about his own interest. For example, I’m living in Liverpool for a year and a half now and he never came to visit me, which is fine, I know he might be busy. The thing is that he contacted me a few days ago, asking me if he could come at the end of April for a weekend. I was actually so happy, so excited as it has been a while since we’ve done something together and ONLY together. As soon as I said I would be okay with him coming here, he immediately mentioned ‘oh can I come with my girlfriend by the way?’. I like his girlfriend, she is not the problem at all. The thing is that he’s actually not coming for me, he’s coming to spend a romantic weekend with his girlfriend. He probably wanted to spend this romantic weekend with her abroad, so he thought ‘oh, my cousin is living in Liverpool, let’s go there’. Obviously not to see me. The worst thing has been the moment when he asked me if he could sleep at mine with her. I said that I only had one bed, this is a shared house so it wouldn’t be even possible for one of us to sleep on the couch. I was speechless after his answer: ‘we can all sleep in the bed, it’s not a problem three people sleeping in one bed, right? So I wouldn’t spend money in a hotel for a night’........ Who does that? Who uses a family member like that, especially a family member that you are close to? I literally said ‘no’, obviously. It is unfortunately only one example out of hundreds. I’m not saying that I hate the person he became, I’m just sad of this reality, because the reality is making me realise that he’s not a good person anymore, maybe he’s worse than his parents and sister.

I know that my grandparents and my mom are really sad about their behaviours. We used to be a strong family, with values and so much love to give to one another. When I’m trying to remember how it was in the past, I’m so sad to think that nothing is going to be like that anymore. They have changed, and for good. Today I’m actually happy to live abroad, so I don’t have to participate to their fake family reunion where everyone is hypocrite. Sometimes I feel guilty that I’m not with my mom, because I miss her but also because I know that her own family has rejecting her (us). I wish I could fix it, but there is nothing to do…


Grace x

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